How to help a child cope with the loss of a pet. Watching our child grieve for their beloved pet is heartbreaking – not only is the animal gone but watching how your child mourns is heartbreaking too.
Children tend to be more in tune with their emotions than adults do and may display it more openly and dramatically than most adults allow themselves. This makes their grief all the more evident and visibly felt than when expressed by adults.
As an experienced psychic animal communicator for over two decades, I’ve come up with several techniques for helping children cope with pet loss. Every day in my work as an animal communicator I help people understand death in relation to animals.
From grief and relief through to sadness and eventual freedom, losing a pet is always an emotional experience for adults. But adding children into the mix makes navigating through it all even harder; here are a few guidelines I have picked up through working with animals who have crossed over that can support your child during these trying moments.
Every child handles death differently
When helping children cope with the death of a pet, it can be tempting to judge their behavior. Your daughter might prefer spending time alone in her room with photos and toys of her beloved cat while your son may prefer more outdoor fun; neither approach should be judged; simply recognize them for what they are.
Children often seem more attuned than adults in sensing when something like this has taken place and if your child comes back to tell you of an experience they had with an animal who has passed, be accepting and positive in your response rather than dismissing it outright. Let them have it!
Wait for a message before offering to introduce another pet into the home While offering to bring another animal immediately may seem like an ideal solution, doing so may actually mask emotions your child needs to experience and push more control away from her. Allow her take the lead in this decision until she indicates her preference – for example “ok, I would like another cat in our lives”. Release and time should not replace each other during this process.
Sometimes the animal that has crossed over will bring with them a message. If your child reports having had a dream or imagined conversation with their pet on the other side and receiving advice regarding when and how often she should bring in new pets, take that advice seriously! Children tend to be much less judgmental of intuitive experiences.
While your child may be grieving the death of their pet, listening to what your child is telling you empowers her and can provide valuable relief during periods of deep grieving.
Prepare Your Child (If Possible)
As soon as possible, try to start preparing your child for their pet’s loss. By simply opening up their mind to this thought and opening dialogue between parent and child regarding this traumatic reality of life, she may become more at peace with it later. Avoiding discussing this fact of life only makes things harder in the future; giving your child an opportunity to say their final farewells can be healing experience for both your family and pet alike.
As part of your efforts to help your child cope with the loss of her pet, provide her with an opportunity for deeper connection – perhaps even receiving messages from its ghost – while the animal still lives. Animals can communicate psychically with people at large; children seem especially tuned-in. Use this advantage by being honest with your child about all things concerning his or her loss.
Stop Attempting to Solve Grief
Sometimes people who want to assist children dealing with pet loss attempt to control the situation. Unfortunately, you cannot “fix” a child’s grief; at best you could distract her but her emotions would remain the same. For parents helping their child deal with losing a pet, support should come first: ask probing questions here and there and offer yourself as an ear if your child wishes to talk through her emotions; take everything your child says seriously as children find losing an animal just as difficult (if not more so than losing human family members).
When your child is grieving their pet’s loss, you really cannot control what their feelings will be; all you can do is be supportive during this difficult process. Listening is key; offer to get them an animal communication reading so they can hear from their pet (see here for my list of certified animal communicators); simply believe what your child says!
Your Process for Assisting Children After Pet Loss
Just remember, too: you have your own grieving process to go through as well – too much focus or energy put on supporting a child can obscure or mask your own emotions and reactions, leaving only yourself left to grieve. In order to move through it successfully and heal healthily, focus more on nurturing yourself than on giving to everyone else.
Animals that have passed on remain very much with us; they know what we’re up to, what’s on our minds, and even when it’s time for bedtime. Your child knows this intuitively – now so do you!
